"I am a cis woman, and I do a number of things to support my male spouse with executive functions—maintaining a family calendar, keeping track of paperwork, keeping a written record of things he might forget, providing him with storage options for his “piles of chaos"—that fit pretty neatly within what might be considered “wifely” duties." Dr. Allbright- this resonates. I have a feeling that there are many women in the world giving this kind of support to our partners.
Would you consider proving a piece with tips for our partners on how to better support a spouse with ADHD?
After years of DBT and not finding out what I suffer from or better said, why I am so different from other people, I read a book about ADHD in adults and thought, this is it. After visiting a specialist, he immediately said, he thinks I have something else and it turns out I am in the autism spectrum - and after reading your piece I still see a lot of similarities between the two.
My husband - having some special needs himself - had a lot of adaption to do so we could stay together. I can only function under special circumstances but at least I still can work part time.
Keep the stories coming. I was diagnosed with 42, this was 11.5 years ago - I knew I am mentally ill years before I started therapy (disfunctional parents, addicted and co-addicted) and have a lot of family and friends suffering. I was always open and I have no problem if someone is mentally ill but NOTHING changed in the last 25 years here in Switzerland - I could throw a fit about this frustrating environment.
Yeah, there is absolutely a strong relationship between ADHD and autism. Some scientists think that people with autism are extremely likely to also have ADHD, but others argue that autism has its own distinct attention mechanisms that just happen to look a lot like ADHD.
It sounds like both you and your husband have worked hard to create a life that works for you and your needs, which is really inspiring. I'm also so sorry to hear about the suffering in your community.
Thank you for the answer. I think, both are somewhat overlapping.
Oh we did - and people are always perplexed by our special arrangement. The most important part: We are not parting each other for nonsense and if there are problems, we stand united against the world - no matter what. I made this clear from the beginning cause he had a lot of seperation anxiety. I already foudn a strong foundation and can function as a solo person very well. He found it very strange in the beginning, that I am not dependant on anything.
How timely! My ADHD -hyperactivity daughter married an ADHD-inattentive man. You are correct. More research needs to be conducted to help in these situations. Thanks for bringing this forward.
Apologies if you linked to this anywhere but you might find this (there's a part two linked within it as well) interesting and additive to what you've written about.
"I am a cis woman, and I do a number of things to support my male spouse with executive functions—maintaining a family calendar, keeping track of paperwork, keeping a written record of things he might forget, providing him with storage options for his “piles of chaos"—that fit pretty neatly within what might be considered “wifely” duties." Dr. Allbright- this resonates. I have a feeling that there are many women in the world giving this kind of support to our partners.
Would you consider proving a piece with tips for our partners on how to better support a spouse with ADHD?
Thank you!!
Absolutely! Thank you for the suggestion. I will work on that for a Valentine’s week post! 💕
After years of DBT and not finding out what I suffer from or better said, why I am so different from other people, I read a book about ADHD in adults and thought, this is it. After visiting a specialist, he immediately said, he thinks I have something else and it turns out I am in the autism spectrum - and after reading your piece I still see a lot of similarities between the two.
My husband - having some special needs himself - had a lot of adaption to do so we could stay together. I can only function under special circumstances but at least I still can work part time.
Keep the stories coming. I was diagnosed with 42, this was 11.5 years ago - I knew I am mentally ill years before I started therapy (disfunctional parents, addicted and co-addicted) and have a lot of family and friends suffering. I was always open and I have no problem if someone is mentally ill but NOTHING changed in the last 25 years here in Switzerland - I could throw a fit about this frustrating environment.
Yeah, there is absolutely a strong relationship between ADHD and autism. Some scientists think that people with autism are extremely likely to also have ADHD, but others argue that autism has its own distinct attention mechanisms that just happen to look a lot like ADHD.
It sounds like both you and your husband have worked hard to create a life that works for you and your needs, which is really inspiring. I'm also so sorry to hear about the suffering in your community.
Thank you for the answer. I think, both are somewhat overlapping.
Oh we did - and people are always perplexed by our special arrangement. The most important part: We are not parting each other for nonsense and if there are problems, we stand united against the world - no matter what. I made this clear from the beginning cause he had a lot of seperation anxiety. I already foudn a strong foundation and can function as a solo person very well. He found it very strange in the beginning, that I am not dependant on anything.
How timely! My ADHD -hyperactivity daughter married an ADHD-inattentive man. You are correct. More research needs to be conducted to help in these situations. Thanks for bringing this forward.
Apologies if you linked to this anywhere but you might find this (there's a part two linked within it as well) interesting and additive to what you've written about.
https://tamarapincus.com/understanding-neurodiverse-partner-part-i/
I have scan read for now because I'm tired but thank you for this piece and I will return! 😊
Ohh I haven’t read this yet, thank you for sharing!