This is a fascinating take, and I am in awe of your healing journey! I’ve been doing my own deep trauma recovery work for over a decade, and I know that it is a long hard road to see big changes in our emotional lives as trauma survivors.
What you’re saying is much more in line with the current DSM definition of ADHD, which notes that emo…
This is a fascinating take, and I am in awe of your healing journey! I’ve been doing my own deep trauma recovery work for over a decade, and I know that it is a long hard road to see big changes in our emotional lives as trauma survivors.
What you’re saying is much more in line with the current DSM definition of ADHD, which notes that emotional dysregulation is an associated characteristic of ADHD but isn’t a diagnostic criteria.
Something I’m wondering about is the relationship between the environment and ADHD emotional dysregulation. ADHD children experience so much criticism and shaming over things that are out of their control — if our parents and educators were better resourced to support ADHD kids, would we see something different in terms of emotional regulation? I wonder.
Yes, I think for sure there is an environmental component. ADHD gives you a very different motivational profile, and the feeling of being constantly told that you should be motivated in a way that you are just not, and things should be easy that just are not, is very confusing (even if you weren't explicitly shamed for being disruptive or inattentive). Being made to feel you are lazy, when it has nothing at all to do with laziness, and just not being given the tools to know how to work with your brain instead of always fighting yourself--it's like being given an upside down map and told to just follow it. It seems like a form of unintentional gaslighting, and we know gaslighting definitely leads to emotional dysregulation.
Bringing in the environment then also brings in the whole conversation about neurodiversity and the social model of disability and the idea that maybe ADHD and autism are not disorders so much as differences, and the distress we experience is due to trying to fit into a world that defines us as wrong or broken rather than supporting our different needs. The DSM has a long history of pathologizing things that are actually just natural diversity (like being gay) because they were seen as deviant at the time.
I do think ADHD as a neurotype calls into question some of the bedrock values of modern society--like that you should just buckle down and do things you don't want to do. But like--why? Why is it so wrong with spending my time doing things I'm interested in, rather than making sure my house is spotless? I feel like my inability to force myself to do things has been an asset in the long run, because it's made me have to figure out what I actually love and find ways to pursue that, rather than just put up with "a life of quiet desperation" which so many people seem to do. But that's a whole other rabbit hole/soapbox 😂.
This is a fascinating take, and I am in awe of your healing journey! I’ve been doing my own deep trauma recovery work for over a decade, and I know that it is a long hard road to see big changes in our emotional lives as trauma survivors.
What you’re saying is much more in line with the current DSM definition of ADHD, which notes that emotional dysregulation is an associated characteristic of ADHD but isn’t a diagnostic criteria.
Something I’m wondering about is the relationship between the environment and ADHD emotional dysregulation. ADHD children experience so much criticism and shaming over things that are out of their control — if our parents and educators were better resourced to support ADHD kids, would we see something different in terms of emotional regulation? I wonder.
Yes, I think for sure there is an environmental component. ADHD gives you a very different motivational profile, and the feeling of being constantly told that you should be motivated in a way that you are just not, and things should be easy that just are not, is very confusing (even if you weren't explicitly shamed for being disruptive or inattentive). Being made to feel you are lazy, when it has nothing at all to do with laziness, and just not being given the tools to know how to work with your brain instead of always fighting yourself--it's like being given an upside down map and told to just follow it. It seems like a form of unintentional gaslighting, and we know gaslighting definitely leads to emotional dysregulation.
Bringing in the environment then also brings in the whole conversation about neurodiversity and the social model of disability and the idea that maybe ADHD and autism are not disorders so much as differences, and the distress we experience is due to trying to fit into a world that defines us as wrong or broken rather than supporting our different needs. The DSM has a long history of pathologizing things that are actually just natural diversity (like being gay) because they were seen as deviant at the time.
I do think ADHD as a neurotype calls into question some of the bedrock values of modern society--like that you should just buckle down and do things you don't want to do. But like--why? Why is it so wrong with spending my time doing things I'm interested in, rather than making sure my house is spotless? I feel like my inability to force myself to do things has been an asset in the long run, because it's made me have to figure out what I actually love and find ways to pursue that, rather than just put up with "a life of quiet desperation" which so many people seem to do. But that's a whole other rabbit hole/soapbox 😂.